Well, crap

My Mom died.

I went back at the beginning of the month because things had taken a sudden and bad turn. I got there Friday afternoon and about 24-hours it was over.

Right now I'm pissed. Because her liver was fine. Doing its job just great. Her incision even looked immaculate. And I was ready for it to be something to do with the transplant. But it wasn't. Well, not really. She got something called Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS) and her lungs couldn't recover. So I'm pissed.

About that and about how many people try to cram GOD down your throat at a time like this. Just because that's what you believe or what gives you comfort, doesn't mean that's a help to me. Keep your Jesus to yourself, mmmkay? I don't need more reasons to be angry right now.

I've decided I'm going to write a book about all the weird things people say to you when a parent dies. Because over the last year and a half, I've heard some doozies. My Dad died suddenly, so there wasn't as much time around his death to hear the number or level of weird things as with my Mom. "That transplant was really necessary. I mean, her quality of life just wasn't that great." Really? Think I didn't notice she was a tad under the weather? "Well, I'm sorry to hear it, but I can't say I'm surprised." Well, shit. I should have called you MONTHS ago, seeing as you could predict the future better than the doctors at the University of Minnesota.

Look, I know people just don't know what to say and feel compelled to say SOMETHING. But take it from me, I'm 37 and don't need you to use the word "orphan" when talking to me You can just say sorry and move on. I won't think you're rude, I won't think you're a jerk.

And I also realize I'm grieving, so maybe I won't be so mean.

But maybe not.

In the meantime, I LOVE this.
(And thanks, Mark for sending it to me a hundred years ago.)

I forgot

Sometimes I forget that I am a grownup. I don't mean, "Oops! I forgot to pay my bills," or, "No one told me I have to wear pants!" I mean, I forget that I am completely free, beholden to (mostly) no one and can just do stuff and go places and not have to ask permission. Dumb!

When did I become such a homebody? Yeah, I've been nesting in my new pad (well, still unpacking, truth be told). Yeah I've been going back to visit my Momma and keeping up with her health (she's doing okay...not great, but okay). But jinkies! When did I stop exploring weirdo places and silly wastes of time? It's like I lopped a big part of my brain off and sealed it in some Tupperware™ for the winter. Double dumb.

So, now that spring is alllllllmost here (hurry,please) I'm popping the seal on that lid and tacking that shit back in there.

So, what's on tap? Here's the problem. Not a whole lot. I am going for my sixth year to the NCAA Wrestling Tournament in St. Louis mid-March (it's okay, everyone laughs). My sisters are threatening to FINALLY visit me (I'll believe it when I see it) the following weekend. The tulip festival that I always swear I'm going to go to and never do. Travels to crazy, sun-drenched lands that I always dream about and go to Minneapolis instead. I'm bored with how boring I am! Thank god Jenny and Jamie have actual tickets to come visit me in April. And then...BASEBALL BEGINS. I love Christmas, but screw that. Beginning of baseball season is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

So, this is war. Look out boring, I'm comin'. Fun gun loaded. I am going to do so much you're gonna freak out. And I'm gonna post the crap out of the photos, too! Yeah!

Just don't be surprised if it doesn't exactly happen with any sort of regularity. Cuz, like...I'm busy, okay?

Snow is falling on my hometown

Snow is falling on my hometown.

I don't tell you this to be profound or "artsy" or "fucking annoying." I tell you this, my cynical hipster (or not-so-hipster) friends because of one simple thing: It's beautiful.

Snow falls differently here. It's not a sign of defeat or surrender like it became in my adopted town a little over a week ago. It comes as what it is...something that just happens.

I spent the evening with some of my longest-time, nearest (at one point) and dearest (always) friends in Minneapolis. These are boys (mostly) whom I've known for a good portion of my life. Some I met as early as age 5 (they went to Kindergarten with my brother Jeff, a whole 16 months older than me). These are the guys who are the stuff of legends; guys I have drank with, cried with and pretty much seen at one point in their lives throw up. All of them. I know it sounds like college-aged bullshit, but there's a certain bond that comes from seeing someone vomit and still loving them. Think about it.

I learned long ago, there's usually a reason I get the feeling I should write. It's because something has compelled me to do it. I'm not motivated by fear (or deadlines, usually) and I think this time, I was overwhelmed at the simplicity of many, many things tonight.

I realized something totally unremarkable: Things happen in the world that I just don't have to figure out.

I know! Crazy, right? But I swear (and it's not because I've smoked a huge joint) a few hours with some great people showed me important things. 1. That our lives never turn out exactly as we planned. 2. That you can have friends who turn out the complete polar opposite as you (REPUBLICANS, even! The horror...) and still love them. And 3. That you can plan, save, plot, protect, defend, prevent and guard against all bad things in the whole big wide world, and they happen anyway.

Shocking, sheltered little girl, you're saying? Yeah, maybe. But it's my revelation so you can go to hell.

Maybe those cheesy 80s Spring Break T-shirts really had it all figured out. Shit happens. You move. You lose a parent. You break up. You have a crisis of confidence (or several hundred), you fall back in love with the same people (sometimes in different uniforms, though not always), you rinse and you repeat. Sometimes even when you're positively a grown-up and you just don't want to.

And, it never really stops. Like now. Like my Mom's impending liver transplant that has me so scared I'm suffocating. Or like my need to make yet another huge life decision. Or that I still wonder on a daily basis what I'm going to be when I'm grown up. Wonder if that one will ever go away?

Things honestly just happen. Not because of something, or to certain people because they "deserve" some karmic payback. They all just happen. And all we can really do is sit back, appreciate people we love, and choose to be happy.

And watch it snow. Even when we don't want it to.

Is this thing on?

Oh, so much going on. How about no photos this time, only words? Come on. You can do it.

Adam and I are broken up. A little over a month ago. There are plenty of details if you really want them, but ask yourself, and then answer honestly: Do you really want them? Do you? Well, then, call me. Happy to fill you in.

Election is in full swing. I know! Can you believe it?! Can't wait to see what happens with the VP debate. Thought tonight's debate was good, just didn't really surprise me, for lack of anything funny to say. Other than that, if you're still thinking you might be voting for McCain, I direct you to look at a tape of aforementioned debate. That's McCain...WITH makeup. Dude, seriously.... he's a too-large-a-piece-o-steak away from a Palin presidency. Not on my watch.

Shot a TV spot in South Carolina, but our hotel was in Charlotte, NORTH Carolina. I know! I had no idea it was that close to the SC border, either! Weird, huh? Work has been a welcome distraction, and the craziness that is the American south is amazing. Just happy to be here, Bob. Finishing in LA allllllll next week and couldn't be happier to have some time in the sun and to hog my pal Emilia's new baby girl. She is positively edible. Must. Chomp. Tiny. Toes.

Twins are still hanging on to first place by the skin of their bullpen. I never have been, nor did I ever think I would be, a Cleveland Indians fan. But this weekend, I am a part of the Tribe. Bring the hurt, Ryan Garko (a name I would FOR SURE be making fun of were the situation different). Punish them, Cliff Lee (do you need someone to rub your sore neck? sign me up). For you have been selected to be the team who can help deliver what no one thought could be delivered at the start of the 2008 season; a playoff berth for the Minnesota Twins. If tonight's game is any indication, you hear me and are prepared to deliver. God speed, my Mistake By the Lake friends. I am yours for this weekend only.


Excited for things to settle down a bit. I could use a lazy weekend with nothing to do but sleep in and clean the cobwebs out of some nooks and crannies I didn't even know existed. That would be good. But so would time travel. And fat-free cheese that doesn't taste like rubber. A girl can dream, right?

More photos next time, I promise.

Gold medal sap

Okay, I admit it. I'm a freak about the Olympics. Crying at the opening ceremonies, through Phelps' eight (good lord, the boy is fast) and still weepy at the dumbest things. (The US woman who won gold in the discus? Really?!)

I searched and searched for a reason why, when it all came clear, thanks to my pal, Bob Costas. After the women's rowing 8's team (yeah, I watched it, so what?) won, he said the perfect thing. I'm paraphrasing here, but he said, the Olympics are filled with athletes who work and train for years completely out of the spotlight. They do what they do for the love of their sport, which only gets attention at the games . Those eight girls (and their coxswain...yeah, I said it) stood on that podium and sang the anthem together, as proud (or maybe prouder) than any other athletes I've seen. "Those are true Olympians," Costas said. Amen, brother.

I won't be all "words" on you, so don't worry.

One thing I have come to love about Seattle (not like it was hard) are the flowers here. I guess all the rain and the soil are super conducive to growing AMAZING flowers. I may have told some of you I found out they produce more tulips here than everyone but the Dutch. But some other pretty amazing flowers grow here, too. So what? So, that means, these are the bouquets a girl can get for TEN BUCKS at the various Farmer's Markets here, including the Pike Market. Here are a few of the greatest hits. The ones so pretty, I had to snap a photo.



This is one of the first ones I bought, as evidenced by my temporary housing in the background! So funny to remember what I thought about Seattle living there. I had to buy a new vase because all my "non-necessary" items were still back in MN. I think I bought it for like, 3 bucks, but you'll see it's in my next photo. It's the perfect size for these monster bouquets.



Aaaaand another one from right by my house at the West Seattle Farmer's Market.

Gotta go cry at the womens' beach volleyball matches. See ya later.

Dear Baseball Gods,

Please allow My Boys, the Minnesota Twins, to kick the ever-loving crap out of the White Sox during this series at home.

Thanks,
Amy

Peter, this one's for you

My good friend Peter called me out. I said I was going to update my blog, and I didn't. So here goes, for any of you who are still reading this.

I've been the busiest I've ever been in the past couple months. No joke. Work is extra crispy crazy, complete with travel, near nervous breakdowns and always the ever-present questioning of why I continue to do this. And the inevitable answer that, try as I might, I love what I do. Damn.

So, photos are good, right? You guys wanna see some photos? Here's what I've been up to.




I came home in March to go to the Big 10 Wrestling Tournament. The Gophers did okay, but more importantly, I got to see my wrestling grrrrrls, Jenny and Jamie (Maria made it in there too).



I then went to the NCAA national tournament in St. Louis. Same drinking, different tournament.



In April, I finally went to a place in Ballard called Zayda Buddy's which serves a few things Minnesotan. They're apparently known for their "Minnesota-Style" pizza (didn't know there was one), but Adam and I opted for some good ol' Tator Tot Hotdish. Weird, I never ate this growing up, and don't particularly LOVE it or anything, but it was the best damn thing I'd had in quite some time because I was so homesick. Also got to suck down some Grain Belt Premiums, which I'm still trying to figure out how to ship to Seattle. Here's a shot of the beer menu, which was enough to make a MN girl cry.



Adam sent me tulips at work. Just because. How lucky am I?


The redhead in question, enjoying a great steak at Jak's Cafe in West Seattle.



Here's one thing I love about Seattle. Yes, it rains as much as people say. Yes, winters and their darkness are in a lot of ways worse than below zero temps (yes, they are). But then you see something like this, perched on a USA Today stand. Heee hee!



This was also one of my favorite, even if totally random, things. We went to do karaoke at a place in the International District called Bush Garden. It's super Asian, super cheesy, super awesome. And then I saw this drawn on the bathroom stall. I couldn't stop laughing.


Went to LA a couple weeks ago to shoot two T-Mobile commercials. It was great. We shot with The Perlorian Brothers, Canadians who have done some of the funniest stuff I've seen recently in ads. We were really lucky to have worked with them and being in LA in the sunshine was just what the doctor ordered after this entirely too long, crappy winter. For my non-ad nerd friends, look them up. For my ad nerd friends, do whatever you can to work with them. You won't be sorry.

Some action shots from the LA trip:


Miller Jones, my co-writer who looks like he's smelling socks and our super cool client (no, really, she is) Jen. One night out in Santa Monica for dinner, drinks and dancing.



I went to the Angels game in Anaheim with my brother Matt and these are the crappy seats he found for us. These were not shot with any zoom at all. Hooray, baseball!



I've never seen it up close, so I snapped a photo. So very, very cool.



Got to see my brother Matt, his wife and their four kids. And their new puppy Eddie. If you don't think this dog is one of the cutest things you've ever seen, there is something wrong with you.



I love Spring in Seattle. Even though it's still raining, the tulips are here in full effect. I learned just before I moved here that Washington State is the largest producer of tulips outside of Holland. They are absolutely huge, absolutely beautiful and absolutely a bargain: Here's 20 bucks worth of flowers.



Went to visit Google Headquarters (well, part of it anyway) right on the water, by the Embarcadero AND AT&T Park. Here is our field trip photo with Wing, Krista, my boss Dan and Josh. It was very cool and super interesting. Well worth the day turn-around trip.



Just a cool shot from outside the Google offices.





More fun at our celebratory night out in Seattle with the team I went to LA with. First is Ting (okay, it's Andrie) and Dominique. Then there's me and Nicole. Well, Nicole wasn't with us in LA, but she is just fun.



Some shots of the kiddos when I was home in early June. Never enough time to see everyone. So, sorry to y'all that I missed this time around.


L to R: Molly, Lily (on grass) Jane, Liam and Kevin.



Beautiful Jane.



Sweet Sammy.



Lily in her cool playhouse.



Ruby, who is always all smiles!


Kevin, lovin' being 4.



Molly, having some of Kevin's birthday cake...


...so Ruby thought she'd have some too.


The one and only Rosie.


So, I'm back to begging, is that it? WHY HAVEN'T YOU PEOPLE BEEN TO VISIT ME?

Seriously. What's a girl gotta do?

Looking forward to a great summer. Hopefully the Twins can keep winning and the sun will keep shining in Seattle!