Winter kills

I'm only going to say this once. Nothing you are about to read is an exaggeration. I'm going to refrain from that, even for comedy's sake, because I think the truth this time is truly funnier than fiction.

It snowed in Seattle on Monday. I was alerted to this not by the National Weather Service nor a local meteorologist, but because half of my department ran out yelling, "It's snowing AND hailing outside!!!" They were running, you see, to watch the snow come down. They returned, shaking their heads saying, "Driving home tonight is gonna suck." One guy, who lives in the same area of Seattle as I do said, "Dude, Jarrard, we're screwed, man. We're never going to get over the West Seattle bridge." Having plenty of work to do, I figured I'd just stay late and beat traffic. I left around 7:30 and my usual 15 minute commute took close to an hour.

That night, watching the news, the weather was the top story. Accidents, warnings to not leave your house unless you absolutely had to, people abandoning their cars on the 405 freeway. They even interviewed a very attractive blonde woman whose studly boyfriend had to come and "rescue" her with his Hummer because "My Porsche in the snow is just like a little sled!" As my good pal Donnie is fond of saying, "Thank god you're pretty, honey."

The next morning, having to get to work earlier than normal, I figured I'd be safe from there being too much traffic. I was right, and arrived at work by 8:15 with little trouble. When I got to work, there were only two other people in the office. I quickly found out Seattle schools were closed, warnings were still being posted about not traveling unless absolutely necessary and many people had already sent e-mails saying they wouldn't be in the office. The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful, except for explaining to one of my co-workers what that pink stuff was that our building maintenance had sprinkled on the stairs. It was salt, you see. Commute home was uneventful and took the usual amount of time, but there was suspiciously far less traffic.

Okay, you've waited long enough. I took photos. These are from Monday night, taken just a few steps outside my door. Subject matter isn't the best, but I don't think you'll mind.

Behold! The blizzard!





I'm still not sure how I survived.

Today, I arrived at work early again to an e-mail from the art director I'm working with saying he would be working from home because Seattle schools were closed again today. Remarking on this, my co-worker Nick said, "Yeah, but I have a friend who lives east of here, on the other side of the bay, and they got like, THREE INCHES."

Also, here is the all-agency e-mail that was sent out twice and then sent via voice mail to make sure everyone was covered:

If you were able to make it into work today despite the icy roads, we appreciate you being here.

This is just a reminder to use your best judgment about coming to work when the road conditions are bad. If you feel safe, come on in. If not, please call your supervisor about how best to cover any meetings or other things that need to get done.

It's taking all I have to not be a smartass and be helpful and understanding to my new friends and neighbors. It reminds me a lot of an old episode of "Friends" where Chandler's New Year's resolution is to not make fun of people and just after he makes it, Ross shows up in leather pants. Sometimes life just isn't fair. On my post previous to this one, I said something about being thankful for rain because it ain't snow. I take it all back.

Who knew the joy even the tiniest bit of snow could bring me?